Music for your Succulent

What’s up SUCCA’s! I hope you enjoyed my VERY first podcast from last week and I hope that my voice didn’t bore you too much. Lucky for you guys, this special week you’ll get to experience another 25 minutes of my soothing, lovely, and beautiful voice! Ha ha I’m just messing with you all.

Anyways...

For this week’s writing portion, I will discuss what music you should play for your succulent and how to even convey the music to it. Have you ever heard of nighttime lullabies? Let’s rock and roll all night? Let’s party until the sun comes up? It’s a part of human life. We listen to music everyday whether we know it or not! So why not make it a part of your succulent’s life?

First off, you have to really think long and hard about what genre of music you want to introduce your succulent to. Jazz? Classical? Rap? Country? Pop? How about the artists? Ariana Grande? Luke Combs? A Boogie wit da Hoodie? THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS!

Personally, I would blast famous Beyoncé songs to my succulent. I’d even go to the extent of putting it on repeat from sunrise to sunset. That’s right, 24/7 or should I say… 7/11? (7/11 is one of Beyoncé’s songs for the ones who aren’t familiar with her work). Whenever I listen to Beyoncé, her songs take me to a whole new world. Although Beyoncé tends to lie within the pop genre, her songs are so beautifully spread out that they can put you into so many different moods that it’s unbelievable. Do you feel like a bad bitch today? Single Ladies. Do you think the love of your life is your angel? Halo. Just experience a breakup and finally realize you don’t need that boy who wasted your time? Irreplaceable. You ready to just jam out because you’re feeling on top of the world? Formation. So, to sum it all up in six simple words… you can’t go wrong with Beyoncé.

Now SUCCAs, I’m pretty positive that succulents can’t hear, correct me if I’m wrong, but you definitely need your succulent to share this amazing musical experience with you. It will be a huge bonding moment for you two and at the same time, your plant will be let into the world of music. You may be saying to yourself, “But Courtney, how on earth can I give that to my plant it can’t hear?” Well my friends, here’s what you have to do. I highly recommend purchasing a giant speaker with insane bass levels. You then need to place your succulent on top of the speaker and turn the music up to the loudest level it can go. If done correctly, your succulent should be bouncing up and down uncontrollably to the song of your choice. Your plant will be one with the vibrations from the speaker and will finally be able to experience music! It’s such an easy process SUCCAs.

However, there are some precautions that you should take:

1.) If you plan on playing music 24/7 on full blast, there is a high chance that your neighbors will call the cops on you. So, go get your running shoes on and never look back.

2.) If you are blaring the music for your succulent to the point where your house is shaking, your ability to hear will most definitely decline rapidly. To avoid going deaf, try buying yourself some high-quality earplugs or put your speaker in your soundproof room!

3.) Last but not least, the water and dirt may in fact spill everywhere due to your plant bouncing to the beat of the music. In order to fix this problem, you could put your plant inside a box and tape the box to the top of the speaker!

Hopefully you guys give your succulent the gift of music. You’ll definitely see a change in a it’s life! See you next time SUCCAs.